5 Things: While we're on the subject of neighbors

Let me just say that the lady who lives directly to the west of me is one of the sweetest little ladies in the world. Really.

The neighbors to the west, as a whole, really aren't bad. It's the ones to the east we have to worry about. Here are five of the strangest/worst neighbors we've had. Thankfully, we have moved away from some of these clowns.

1) Captain Underpants -- Not only did he show up in his underwear days after we moved into our house, he has woken me up in the middle of the night watching TV very loudly in his yard. Really, it was so loud I woke up terrified that there were strangers in my home. When we first moved in, he had a large satelite dish in the front yard. You remember the 6 footers? He tried to camoflage it with overgrown weeds. We rejoiced when he took it down . . . until he parked a much larger RV in its place.
And his cousin around the corner, sent my dog running one day when he got loose. Mind you I immediately went after him when he climbed the fence. Well, he scared the dog off, then wrote me a ticket for $189. And the pound, lacking any kind of oversight of their employees, wouldn't let me fight it.

2) The Dog Whisperer -- She "gets" animals. She tried unsuccessfully to get us to give our dog over to a rescue agency because "she communicates with animals and she could tell he was unhappy". She's called the police on us about the dog being unfed/watered so many times that they don't even come out anymore. Once, while we were out of town for a day, she called the police to say that we'd moved out and abandoned our cat. I can't leave my dog outdoors during the day because she feeds him things, etc. And I'm not sure that she isn't the one who is detaching our chainlink fence . . .

3) The Kissing Cousin -- She lived across the hall from us for a short time. I've never heard such vulgarities come from a woman's mouth. They were always directed at her children. We had to start keeping our door locked because her kids would wonder into our apartment. Those poor kids were ALWAYS naked. And there dad was their cousin.

4) We all get senile -- The lady across the street is cooky in a completely harmless kind of way. I think age is just catching up to her. My cat used to check the mail with me every day. Every day said lady would tell me how beautiful my cat was. One night I got a call from her at 11 pm saying "the prettiest little kitty was on her porch" and that she "sure was worried about her getting home".

5) The door is locked -- My first apartment was a dump. Literally, but it was all I could afford. One night the neighbor tried really hard to break into my apartment. I'm sure he was inebriated. I'm hoping he thought it was his door. Either way, I kept a rifle stock beside my door the entire time I lived there.

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What about you? What is the strangest or worst experience you've had with a neighbor?